Ani-TAY Reporter

AniTAY- The Anime-geddon Report

Illustration for article titled AniTAY- The Anime-geddon Report

Yesterday, AniTAY and the world were blindsided by a startling announcement. I, however, being the great investigative reporter that I am, completely missed this announcement...and the second one...but not the third.


Here it where it all began for me...(cue film noir style flashback in black and white with terrible acting). We see here that our beloved mdubs had gone missing. Not much information could be drawn from the article at the time, given its apparent singularity of event.

But then, I saw another article highlighting yet another one of the AniTAY authors and their escapades. Rockmandash had opened a maid cafe and given a short interview to Protonstorm. Come to think of it, wasn't it Proton who had written about mdubs's disappearance?...hmm... Leaving the readers with the cliffhanger that he had seen some "new talent" at Rock's maid cafe, Proton ends his media statement.


I, of course, being the great investigative reporter that I am, remember that mdubs had run off in search of Kei Takebuchi of the glorious Goose House. Connecting some questionably existent dots, I quickly pose the question in the comments section of Proton's article. I then also begin to blindly and wildly accuse Proton of being an evil mastermind (again, because I'm a great investigating reporter).

Could this "new talent" be Kei Takebuchi? Was mdubs at Kevin's maid cafe watching Kei the whole time?! The points are starting to all adds up. The question is, how does Proton know all of this? Is HE the one behind it all?


Proton then stated my accurate information along with his profound disapproval that I should be questioning the events taking place, immediately raising my suspicion from "half-cocked P.I. wanna-be" to "full mustache Magnum P.I." and "Phoenix Wright" levels. I shot back a cunning retort:

He doesn't deny it! That's it right there folks, such clairvoyance can not be refuted, even by the evil mastermind behind what experts are now calling "Anime-geddon!" How long will it be before these events are no longer just words on a screen, but happening on YOUR doorstep? More importantly, do houses even have doorsteps any more? Experts are recommending that you begin to binge-watch your entire backlog until the dust settles, as your waifu or best girl may become an enemy of the state and associating with such with cause your own excommunication!


But before my retort was concocted, I had perused the first declaration by Proton that "World Order Has Collapsed." Having read the tenets of this new up-and-coming regime, I drew more lines between the now not-so-questionably-existent points, proving that I, much like Rintarou Okabe/Hououin Kyouma, was not having delusions of grandiose schemes and conspiracies. I took the time to quickly jot down some brief thoughts I was having while connecting this new information to what I already knew at the time:

Kevin recently, and quite conveniently, opened a maid cafe and has been exhibiting abnormally tsundere mannerisms...hmm, could he be aligning himself with the new world regime to progress his own agenda?

And most importantly, how does Proton fit into this scheme? Is HE the one secretly pulling the strings behind the curtain?!

More to come as further developments are revealed...

Again, I use my super sleuthing skills to make the connections between Dex's regime's Economic Leader and Rockmandash for those who haven't begun to notice the patterns yet. Also, I very professionally direct attention to the questioning of Proton's involvement in all of this. Unsure of just how many are involved and wondering if there is anyone that I can really trust, I decide to start officially reporting publicly on my investigations and encourage those who seek the truth to keep an eye out for my later entries.


I then took a brief respite from analyzing Proton's media coverage to read up on some yandere matters that I thought might be related to the new world order on the rise. Before I could draw any conclusions, I felt the need to write a eulogy for the what-I-assumed-to-be-soon-deceased HydraCord.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the life and times of our beloved HydraCord. He was but a young beansprout, newly settled in authorship when, on April the first, two-thousand and fifteen, he made a fatal error during his run-in with YandereStorm."


After this preparation for the inevitable tragedy to befall our young companion, I decided to try my hand at some weather reporting, as there seamed to be quite the storm brewing out in international waters...

In other weather reporting news, Protonstorm is orchestrating a world takeover. The points are connecting as more and more events unfold...could this be the end for AniTAY? Find out, in the next segment of "AniTAY- The Anime-geddon Report"


Decided on the name for my investigation, I made the executive decision to wire-tap, uh, I mean, read about the interview between Proton and Stanlick that had just surfaced on the net (Spoilers- Dex Himself makes an appearance, one of the few known public sightings of the supreme-ruler-to-be through all of this uproar). After consulting with experts in the field, I alerted the masses that it was, perhaps, not YandereStorm who was the Social Leader of the World Order, but PROTON HIMSELF.


As the experts on "Anime-geddon" have started to question whether Proton is really the puppet-master in this phenomenon, he clearly exhibits yandere tendencies! This clearly marks him as the one in the harem in charge of social issues, explaining his vast knowledge of the goings-on of Anime-geddon. But if he isn't in control, who IS? Critics are still skeptical that The All-Powerful Dex-sama is the true master of Anime-geddon. We're here, live, reporting on the front lines of AniTAY. Until next time.

Tune in later to the next segment of "AniTAY- The Anime-geddon Report" for more news. Follow Anime-geddon on social media using the hashtag #anime-geddon or #AniTAY:TheEndOVA


After about half an hour and three red bulls going by with no new information surfacing, I feared the worst and began to think reasonably (I swear I did't go insane. And Halflife 3 is real, I saw it too!) and saw that there were similarities and patterns that I had thought too vague to be meaningful...I consulted some more very real and not made up experts as well as my vast knowledge of how all things are connected to the Illuminati (you just have to look hard enough, but if you squint you can allllmost see the triangles embedded in everything) and came to a stunning breakthrough:

This just in:

"Protonstorm" and "Anime-geddon" both have 11 letters. Experts are claiming that this is proof that this phenomenon IS NO HOAX. The All-Powerful Dexomega-sama is sometimes referred to as "Dex," which leaves out the "omega" from His name. Omega is the last letter of the Greek alphabet. Is this proof that this regime is planning to end all anime that do not bow to Dex-sama?

Stay tuned for the next segment of "AniTAY- The Anime-geddon Report" for more news. Follow Anime-geddon on social media using the hashtag #anime-geddon or #AniTAY:TheEndOVA


A short nap later, I read the counterpart to The AniTAY AMA, which started me thinking about more rational connections in the AniTAY authorship. Then I read a wonderful and astounding review of a Studio Ghibli film that I had never heard of. I then proceeded to collect my wits about me as I noticed Proton had issued a media round-up of the Rise of the Dex. I got a bit existential in my investigation update:

**Live on the scene**

Well, the dust has settled for now, it seems. As The All-Powerful Dex-sama's complete takeover of AniTAY appears to be complete in its final form, this may be the End. The End for this reporting series, perhaps, but more importantly it may be the End for something near and dear to all of our hearts- our anime. This Anime-geddon has had high costs, with all the experts and critics now settling Mars as cockroach-people, or shouting for hours on end to charge enough energy to blast themselves to some distant planet to collect the balls of a dragon, or frantically writing in a journal they found on the ground one day hoping they can avenge all of their colleagues that have not been as lucky as they. Many have been swayed to join hands with the Glorious Leader of Anime-geddon, but I have my duty as an investigator and reporter to see this through to the bitter end.

There are still many questions to be answered...who is the true mastermind behind this regime? Who dares to defy it? And, most importantly, why, for the love of all things good in this world, is there a news report about news reports? As I struggle through these difficult questions, filled with uncertainty, the only thing I can hold on to is this-

"you are ... right" - Protonstorm

A simple quote directed to me at the beginning of this campaign towards knowledge and integrity in anime-centric world regimes. But what does it mean? What did he really mean? What was I right about? These are pressing times, indeed...

BUT LOOK! There is another event that has come to light! I shall continue my investigations there.

Tune in later to the next segment of "AniTAY- The Anime-geddon Report" for more news. Follow Anime-geddon on social media using the hashtag #anime-geddon or #AniTAY:TheEndOVA

(Or not, who knows how much longer I will remain able to search for the truth about this regime...)


Meta self-referential hyperlinks aside, I was swimming in an ever expanding pool of questions from which I could not determine in which direction I should proceed. But hark!, a new addition to this chain of events had been made, so I took up the banner and moved to my next reporting scene. Here I found a plethora of information which gave me a reason renew my hope in the investigation and continue reporting. I'll let my report-log entry tell the rest:

**AniTAY- The Anime-geddon Report, resuming reporting**

Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen! We have been blindsided by new information! It may not seem like much, but there are a few very important bits in this one.

First, we'll start off with Proton's use of the specific word "storm." While "taking by storm" is a common phrase, there is a deeper meaning hidden in this message. I believe (since all the experts are dead or have fled to collect the balls of a dragon or the like, I must do my own interpreting and analysis) that he is telling us that YandereStorm, who conveniently posted an article earlier today, asking people to ask questions, is part of a secret party within the regime planning a coup d'état along with Krakken who released a similar article today as well. Both of these are secretly asking us, the otaku-dom, to question the regime!

And now, the most important piece of information, is that Kei Takebuchi, our beloved Kei, may very well be the one orchestrating this Rise of the Planet of the Dex. But. BUT! Would the REAL Kei do such a thing? No! mdubs may not have realized it yet (probably because he hasn't gotten within 300 meters of her), but I fear the worst may have happened to Kei...she might have been taken over by some parasyte from....from...who knows where?

Who else has been replaced by these new-fangled body-snatchers?! Has your friend, your neighbor, your spouse even? The day has come that this regime is on your very-questionably-existent-and-possibly-metaphorical doorstep! We must question this new authority and fight for FREE SIMULCASTS FOR ALL ANIME!

Tune in later to the next segment of "AniTAY- The Anime-geddon Report" for more news. Follow Anime-geddon on social media using the hashtag #anime-geddon or #AniTAY:TheEndOVA


Like all great things, there arose a plethora of spin-offs. One that rose above the rest to become know in this time of hardship was the cult of Tatsuyism. The messenger of Tatsuyism, the somehow-not-dead HydraCord proclaims how The One True Tatsuya can do great things, and I wondered if it would come to replace The World Order of the Anime-geddon fiasco.

**AniTAY- The Anime-geddon has caused more extremist groups to surface**

With the rise of the Dex and all the subterfuge within the regime, a new, pure cult has come calling. Tatsuyism is poised to sweep into the power vacuum left when The All-Powerful Dex-sama's Anime-geddon regime topples...but is Tatsuyism the only contestant? Or will more rise from the shadows? Who else will be revealed to be a part of this swirling whirlpool of power struggles and deceit?!

Tune in later to the next segment of "AniTAY- The Anime-geddon Report" for more news. Follow Anime-geddon on social media using the hashtag #anime-geddon or #AniTAY:TheEndOVA

(Or #Tatsuyism and #TheOneTrueTatsuya for discussion on this newest derivative cult)


Full of hype for this phenomenon, Anime-geddon, I hastily clicked on the article that something to do with hype because really, who reads the rest of the title after you've already decided you're interested? Only leading to more questions, the article left me confused, yet informed somehow. I let a stream of consciousness flow into a report:

**AniTAY- The Anime-geddon Report continues**

Is the church in bed with the government in this new regime? Is everyone in bed with Dex in his rise to power? Are they all just trying to get what power they can while grabbing hold of his coattails? And just how big is his bed to fit all those people?

My investigation has led me here, where it seems that the battle between The Anime-geddon led by Dex is being challenged by the derivative upstart, Tatsuyism. Protonstorm voices his opinions and past connections with the cult of Tatsuyism, quickly being cut off by the regime. But by who you ask? Protonstorm was thought to be the head of the media propaganda stream, but he was cut off by someone. Could it have been the Kei-parasyte?

Ah I see now, I have made a fatal mistake that it may be too late to correct...when Proton mentioned that phrase "taking by storm," he also included himself in the group who stands within the new government, poised to topple it from the inside out. Does this mean that Tatsuyism was the real goal all this time, and that Proton really was the mastermind behind the scheme and he was just using the Anime-geddon movement as a booster rocket of sorts for his own agenda?

The plot thickens as HydraCord and Proton seem to align with the dissenters within the government. Will there be a revolution before the Anime-geddon is even finished opening shop? What are the real motives for all of this? Who is Michael Burns and what has he done with the REAL Proton? ARE THERE ANY BAGEL SHOPS OPEN AT 3am?! AM I SECRETLY PART OF ANIME-GEDDON BUT DON'T KNOW IT YET?

The pressure builds and like most detectives in troubling cases, I fear that my perception of reality may be blurring. Or have I been fundamentally changed through inception? Just how much power and advanced technology do these two sides have? Have they acquired D-Mail? Should I support the Kei-parasyte and Anime-geddon, Tatsuyism, or continue on my investigation...

Tune in later to the next segment of "AniTAY- The Anime-geddon Report" for more news. Follow Anime-geddon on social media using the hashtag #anime-geddon or #TheRealStorm or #WhoIsMichaelBurns?


"Protonstorm" comments on my report, insinuating that I AM part of Anime-geddon but don't know it yet with the oh-so-clever play-on-words "Dexception" instead of just saying "deception," a fact which I may or may not have just realized. I replied to the entity of unknown identity:

How far does the rabbit hole go?! Am I even me anymore? Am I a parasyte? Where will the questions end? The further we go, the more unanswered questions there are! I'm...I'm having Tokyo Ghoul Root A...anything but that please...

I must know the answers. And so I continue to report on what could be my undoing. #Anime-geddon2k15 #AmITylerDurden?


With no further events happening, I gather my thoughts to write a report of the happenings of April 1st, 2015 - The Day AniTAY Stood Still - AKA ANIME-GEDDON. So here I leave anyone who has forged a path through my quasi-investigative report with a question. One, simple question...

What is Anime-geddon, and what REALLY happened here?

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